A Christmas poem

Some friends of mine recently put on a fabulous cabaret. Of course, I could not resist the chance to get on stage and show off for the masses, so, in the style of Phoebe and her great Christmas song (you all know it, right? 'Monica, Monica, have a happy chanuka' etc), I wrote this poem for my friends and read it out. Here it is for everyone to see. Enjoy. And happy, happy Christmas to my lovely friends!

For my friends at Christmas (Dec. 2010)

Why do I love Christmas so?

Because it gleams, and sheens and sparkles.

The tinsel glints, the polished snow,

The golden foil covered marvels.

Deep green, rich red of spiky holly –

Happy Christmas, Kaye and Olly!

Why does Christmas fill my heart?

Because it sounds like peals of laughter.

The bang of crackers ripped apart,

The promise of happy ever after.

Nostalgic songs set in cosy stables –

Happy Christmas, Elaine and Rachel!

Why does Christmas make me grin?

It feels like woolly hats and a bright pink nose,

Like tummies so full that it’s a sin,

Roaring fires warming frosty toes.

Tables that buckle beneath the posh nosh –

Happy Christmas, James and Rosch!

Why do I give Christmas props?

Because it tastes like roast potatoes

And gin, and wine, and chocolate drops

Like a contented, dreamy, full-up doze.

All of this washed down with a hot toddy –

Happy Christmas, Jen and Roddy!

Why do I think Christmas is fantastic?

Because it smells like sharp satsumas,

The addictive twang of brand new plastic,

Excitement that lingers like a thrilling rumour.

I think the scent of Christmas is something primal –

Happy Christmas, Len and Michael!

Why do I love Christmas so?

Is it the snowy moon shaped in a crescent?

Is it Santa’s red and ruddy glow?

Or could it just be all the presents?

No – the thing that’s best about Christmas, you’ll see –

Is celebrating it with BBB!